MentalMasturbation, Dear Reader, is a form of anxiety relief not unlike the more pedestrian efforts of stroking either the male or female genitalia, albeit devoid of any relief as it is the process, not the conclusion, that is important.
Simply stated, MentalMasturbation afflicts my ever-wandering, always-worrying, exceedingly-addictive mind that works 24 hours per day, 365 days per year. I even can confirm that MentalMasturbation manages to continue spinning an extra day during leap year.
The existence of my condition is as unwavering as my schoolboy day-dreams of “be-friending” my twenty-something year young, smoking-hot French teacher, who bounced about the classroom surely aware of her impact on 16 year old boys…and possibly girls.
Therefore, Dear Reader, I do not seek to discuss whether or not MentalMasturbation exists or why my mind never seems to rest.
I do, however, wish to discover the “why” about all sorts of topics swirling around my brain.
This collection of missives, which I hope you will read (albeit I do not know why you would care what I have to write) and for which I beg you to pay, is my banal attempt to understand the “why” of life.
Oh yes, if anyone has a cure, I would be most grateful with such enlightenment.