Chapter 1 – The Present
Hi, my name is Buddy.
I am a dog. Human Beings – funny creatures that walk on two, rather than four, legs and cannot clean their own private parts without the assistance of paper or water – say I am a Beagle. OK, I guess I am a Beagle. After all, Human Beings, at least in my experience, provide food, water, wine and shelter so a Beagle I am.
Buddy the Beagle. I can live with that.
My parents – at least the ones I have now – are Human Beings. Human Beings are either girls or ladies or boys or men.
The lady, who smells very good, is called Violet. The man, who always shares some sweet water with me (he calls it wine), is called Chuck.
They told me my birthday is August 27th. I do not yet know what is a birthday, but I do know I get a longer bath, more food and a lot more attention. I do not even know what is August 27th, but I like it.
Violet and Chuck are nice to me. They give me food, but I always want more. They give me water, but I am still confused why they always let me have more. They give me sweet water Chuck calls wine, but they definitely will never give me too much. Long story I will tell you later, but suffice it to say I apparently drank too much one time and peed on Chuck.
They walk me around the neighborhood so I can smell everything and do what they call pee and poop. I really like smelling…and licking. I do not know why. Sometimes I even do it when I do not like the way the thing smells or tastes. I cannot stop myself.
Violet and Chuck have arranged three places throughout the house where I can sleep. Chuck will not let me sleep in the place he calls “horizontal showtime” and Violet calls “horizontal sleep time”. Very confusing.
They let me say hi to all the people and stick my nose in all the good smelling parts of other dogs and some cats and even some Human Beings called girls. That is a lot of fun. As I said, I like smelling and licking. Chuck always says “that’s my boy” while Violet says “stop doing that, Buddy”. Also, very confusing.
I understand when they speak to me. Violet speaks to me in something called Chinese. Jack speaks to me in something called English.
I do not know why I understand both Chinese and English – I do not even know what that means. I do not understand why they always look at me with the only response being “Shush” when I speak to them. They call it “barking”. I do not know what that means. I do know they dislike “barking”. I also know what “shush” means. I do not like it.
Oh well, I hope they will learn to understand me someday. Well, I really do not mind too much as long as they keep feeding me.
Everyone likes me. The Human Beings called girls in my neighborhood really like me. Do not take my word for it…just ask them. Chuck calls me The StudBud. Chuck says I have too many “girlfriends”. I do not understand. He makes it sound important, and he always smiles when he says it. I guess that is good. Someday I will understand.
In the meantime, I guess I have a pretty cool life. I am not sure I know what that means, but Violet and Chuck tell me I do.
But it did not start out that way…
“Buddy’s Universe” to be continued…